The Beatles Sensational Love Story..

Hello...

I've been through the happiest moment since she came to my life. We even texting each other with the beautiful Beatles lyrics. This time my love life is so sensational, just like the moment when The Beatles came into the music industry and rocked the world with their beautiful songs in the 60's. Now I'm a big fan of her. I'm so crazy about her more than I crazy about The Beatles. She's my Paul Mcartney, John Lennon, Ringo Starr & George Harrison. If she sells the records, then I'll be the the one who gonna buy all of them. I'll whistle her song along the way to work and back home. I'll pin up her biggest poster on my wall. I'll wear all the clothes with her name and picture printed on them. That's how I'm gonna love her. This is my greatest Beatles sensational love story...

Nostalgic...

Ask Me WhyWritten by: John Lennon (70%) and Paul McCartney (30%) (credited as Lennon-McCartney)Recorded: November 26th, 1962 (Studio 2, Abbey Road Studios, London, England) 

Mixed: November 30th, 1962; February 25th, 1963
Length: 2:24
Takes: 6
Musicians: John Lennon: lead vocal, rhythm guitar (1958 Rickenbacker 325Paul McCartney: bass guitar (1961 Hofner 500/1), backing vocals
George Harrison: lead guitar (Gibson J160E), backing vocals
Ringo Starr: drums (Premier)
First released: January 11, 1963 (UK: Parlophone 45-R 4983) (b-side to "Please Please Me"), February 25th, 1963 (US: Vee-Jay VJ-498) (b-side to "Please Please Me")

History:

• A formula song, as the band has itself admitted, but important for one aspect: it's the first appearance on record of a song truly written by John Lennon and Paul McCartney together at the same time.
• This was recorded at the June 6, 1962 audition featuring Pete Best as the group's drummer, but that recording has been lost to history.

This song is very nostalgic. Not just for people in the 60's. It is for me as well. So please don't "Ask Me Why?"...

Incomplete...

Something is missing today. I feel so empty... It's like unfinished dream, a letter half written and a forgotten melody. So incomplete.... It's not even a day yet and I already miss someone. And this heart keep pounding hard as usual...

I still try to figure out why my heart pounding hard. I couldn't find the answer. It has been 5 years, and for the first time it happens again. I feel so warm, calm and sometimes a bit worry when it comes into my thoughts. I want to stay like this... Always and forever if I can. But nothing I can do. There's a line that I can't cross. In fact it absolutely shouldn't be crossed at all.

So last night I told meself, maybe this winter I still a lonely lad. I have been embrace it and befriend it rather trying hard to battle it for long time.... I learnt that there are two types of loneliness. One can be lonely because there is none around to share the moments or one can feel lonely in the midst of all people around. I found out the later kind of loneliness is the hardest to overcome. That is the kind that makes my soul ache... 

Can this puzzle be completed? Does someone has this very little piece now? I don't even know what is the answer for that....

Oh my god...

It happens all of a sudden, just from a simple "Hi"... Too fast... And it is wrong... But it can't be helped. I want meself happy but at the same time it will hurt someone else if it keeps going. But I did sacrifice for the others happiness so many times. It's so unfair for people and as well as for me.

My dear God... Can you explain what is the thing that I'm feelin' now? The feelin' that I had forgotten years and years ago. Everyday I wake up with my heart pounding so hard as I thought it might leap out of my chest. The fear is so intense and feral it's like being an animal. What is it exactly?

She.... Is someone....

She wore her clothes with such naturalness and grace that she could have been a bird that had enveloped itself in a special wind as it prepared to fly off to another world. I have never seen a woman wear her clothes with such apparent joy.

I'm a Kamikaze Engineer

Hello...

Ujong tahun dah dekat. Sik lamak lagik financial year end. So seperti biasa company akan busy. Aku antara manusia yang terjebak ke dalam kancah ke busy-an ya. Ari tok aku masok opis pukol 6.30am dan keluar opis pukul 7.30pm. Iskhhh... Lamak ya bah... Sik pa hal... Lagik pun mun aku pulang rumah awal bukan ada polah apa-apa pun. Sak kelak tergeley-geley atas katil dengan laptop. Lagik pun the more I spend my time in the office, the more I can get. I mean bukan dapat duit lah sebab aku engineer, so sik pat nak claim. Mun aku technician tek boleh claim. The more I can get ya maksud aku in term of experience & knowledge. Yalah, nak nama young engineer tok lagik masih banyak nak dipelajari.

Ari tok meeting design team. Banyak benda aku kenak issue before christmas.

1) Heating and cooling systems design

2) Hot and cold water system design

3) Gas system design

4) Building Energy Performance report

5) BREEAM Report

6) Natural and Mechanical ventilation design

Associate director aku madah mun aku dapat molah benda atas ya before Christmas, bulan satu kelak aku sik lah susah payah nak stay late kat opis. Tender submission is on 30th January. Aku madah dengan bos aku yang aku akan try nyiap semua ya before Christmas sebab on Christmas day aku balit Kuching until 11th Jan. Lalu director aku "Huh... What the hell? You should sort these out before you go for holiday Kaz. Otherwise your project will be in trouble." Aku madah dengan director aku, "Don't worry boss. I'll try to sort it out before I go for holiday. I'm a Kamikaze Engineer. I'll dive myself to death into my design." Director aku tetak kedak setan bila nengar aku madah gia... "Make sure you hit the bull eye mate." kata director aku. Hahahha.... So, before aku balit cuti, aku akan kerja bermati-matian. Baruk best cuti nak mun kerja dah settle nak. So semoga aku berjaya hit the dateline la... 

GAMBATE KUDASAIYO... BANZAI...!!! BANZAI...!!! BANZAI...!!!

Brackens Rain

It's the brackens rain.... 

When this rain falls, the boat out to the sea cannot return.

When the brackens rain falls, it's time to say goodbye....

So when I tell you goodbye on the brackens rain, it doesn't mean I'll never return.

Only that I wish I don't have to... 

Goooood Morning Manchester!!!

Goooood Morning Manchester!!! It's 10:14 am. What does the "O" stand for? It's "O" my god the day still early. Hahaha.... I had a dream last night, I was eating 3 plates of nasik lemak for breakfast.  I woke up this morning and the pillow was gone. Where the hell are they? It's so cold this morning even the sun is shining bright out there. Nevermind the cold because soon I'll feel the intense heat of Borneo sun. Have a little patient because I'll see the same ol' sky that I used to see before. I'll shout at it with a loud and booming voice "Hey..!!! Look. Who's coming home now?". I hope it still recognise me. And I hope the white orchid still bloom as usual in my dad's little garden. Don't they look beautiful?

Suprise...

Ahahaa... Aku ada big surprise... Sekda sapa-sapa tauk selain abang aku & orang yang bakal baca blog aku tok. So please jangan padah sapa-sapa even dengan bestfriend aku sekali pun.

Ceritanya kedak tok. Aku pulang on Christmas Day. Hehehe... Aku fly ke Dubai on 25th Dec. Sampei di Dubai aku raon-raon lok keluar since aku ada 10 hours to kill in Dubai before fly to KL. Then aku sampei KL on 26th Dec, around 8.30pm. Aku bermalam di KLIA lok malam ya. Then on 27th Dec aku fly ke Singapore. Kenak aku sik straight terus ke Kuching? Errrmmm...

Actually aku dah prepare surprise pakei mak bapak aku. Aku dah meli ticket sidak ke Singapore on 27th Dec. Aku pesan dengan abang Ez iboh padah sidak yang aku balit. Just padah yang someone akan nunggu di Singapore ari ya kelak. So mak bapak aku sekda idea sapa yang dimaksud abang aku ya yang akan nunggu sidak di Singapore. So on 27th Dec aku nunggu sidak di Changi Airport. Aku dah booking hotel apa semua pakei sidak. Aku nak ngembak orang tua aku berjalan-jalan, shopping, relax & ngabas relatives di Singapore for 3 days. Then late 29th Dec kamek orang berangkat ke Kuching. 

This time aku berbelanja besar pakei orang tua aku. Sik kesah juak. Masa aku kecik lok bapak aku selalu embak aku jalan-jalan bah. Nya even ngantar aku belajar ke overseas lagik. Mun nak di-compare dengan apa dah di polah mak bapak aku dengan aku, aku kenak nyuroh sidak travel sigek dunia tok baruk terbalas kali. Belom gik masok kos kesakitan, susah payah & perasaan terguris oleh aku selamak membesarkan aku tok gik. Iskkhhh... Sik terbalas dengan wang ringgit semua ya. Baruk aku paham, wang ringgit bukan dapat meli semua.

Anyway, Ahhhh... Feel so good coming home again...

 

Mother Tongue...

Ehhh... Aku rasa nak nulis blog dalam bahasa Sarawak jak. Baruk Sarawak nak mun nulis blog dalam bahasa Sarawak nak. Hahahha... Tapi masalah nya tek takut orang lain sik pat paham terutama sidak Melaya. Ahhh... Lalek bah. Gine orang Sarawak dapat paham bahasa sidak, sidak sekpat paham bahasa kita. Try la integrate sikit... Aku bahasa cina, iban, bidayuh, and even Japanese & Spanish pun aku boleh paham.

Aok... Sik lamak lagik nak ujong taun. Time tok nang time busy lah. Kesian ku nanggar Steve, Pete & Matthew kenak suroh kerja ujong minggu. Walaupun aku dengan Nuala sik kerja ujong minggu di opis & rupa kamek duak tang ilek jak, tapi kamek duak e-mail kerja ke rumah. Sak dapat polah kerja di rumah sambil chill. Mun jak aku molah kerja tek nak. Sekali tek Heat Loss and Heat Gains calculation nak di polah aku mok pakei software juak. Nang sekda paedah la nak ngadap kerja ya.

Ari jemat 21/12/08, lepas kerja aku, Sydney & Nuala lepak kat Christmas Market sambel menyirup Hot Christmas Punch. Sydney bercerita yang si Denise riso hal recession di UK time tok. Denise takut kenak make redundant. Chiooohhhh...!!!! Iboh gia oii.. Aku chuak juak kenak make redundant. Nasib bait tiba-tiba muncul director kamek orang rah Christmas Market join sekali. Nya madah iboh riso. Manchester office generates banyak income tahun tok. Office lain sik dah sekda kerja dah, tapi Manchester office gik gago kerja bagei nak gila. So jangan susah ati dengan hal kerja. Nya madah aku (di translate dalam bahasa Sarawak) "Kaz, ko ari ya sik dapat visa pun aku riso gila. Sanggup ku ngantar ko ke Moscow or Khazakhstan. Ko ya jak sik mok pergi Moscow. Nasib bait ko dapat Residence Permit ko. Aku dah bingong sine nak carik orang kedak ko lagik pas tok." Aku dengan kembang idongnya lalu bertanyak, "Boss, sikkan sekda payrise? Hehehehe...". Bos aku madah, "Hahaha... Ada. Ko dapat Payrise + Bonus. Double pakei ko ehhh...". Lalu aku tek, "You're Awesome Boss...". 

Nang sik pat dinafikan lah ekonomi UK nang terok gila time tok. Dah tiga hari berturut-turut graph currency menjunam. Dijangka ekonomi kedak tok berterusan sampei 2010. Uishhh... Mun sampei 2010 gine nak idup kedak tok? Dah la tax nak nait, council tax lagik, congestion charge lagik. Nak mampus mun gia... Selalu tiap-tiap bulan aku ngantar dengan mak bapak aku leng-leng jak RM 200o sebulan. Bulan tok tek ngantar duit, dah di convert jak dapat RM1045 jak. Adehhh...

Yalah aku tek berkelakar dengan Jal time breakfast rah Mr. Scruff... Mun duit turun sampei £1 = RM3.5, bagus balit Kuching jak...

Iskhhh... Masok umo 25 tok nang banyak lah bebanan nak di fikir. Selalu happy jak. Sikda gago hal ekonomi indah macam. Nak tauk tiap-tiap bulan ribu-ribu pound sterling masok account bank. Kinek tok aku kenak fikir hal carik couple gik, mikir nak meli rumah gik di Kuching, mikir hal ekonomi. Arum bulak semua masalah dunia nak ku fikir ku. Sigek benda boleh relate kepada masalah lain. Bikin rusak aku punya programme la.... Bikin aku confuse la ini macam....

Sakit

Dua hari yang lepas aku telah hilang selera makan. Dua hari itu juga aku tidak menjamah makanan. 

Aku cuba sedaya upaya untuk makan. Ku suapkan makanan ke mulutku dan ku kunyah hingga lumat. Aku pun menelan makanan itu dan dapat dirasakan ianya menuju ke perutku melalui tiub esophagus ku. Sejenak makanan bersentuhan dengan perutku, aku pun merasa mual. Lantas makanan tersebut ku muntahkan lagi.

Aduhai badan... Mengapa engkau berkelakuan sebegini? Apa yang telah terjadi kepada kau? Aku rasa ada sesuatu yang tidak kena dengan tubuh badan ku ini. Ya Tuhan... Hindarilah diriku dari sebarang penyakit...

Ke mana arah?

Setelah 4 hari melangkah ke alam dewasa setelah 25 tahun kewujudan ku di dunia ini, aku kadang-kadang berfikir ke manakah arah tujuan hidup ini setelah apa yang di inginkan telah tercapai.

Aku seperti hilang arah sekarang. Bagaimanakah harus ku teruskan kehidupan di hari mendatang kalau aku terus begini. Membiarkan kisah kehidupan seharian berlalu mengikut peredaran masa tanpa ada misi seterusnya yang hendak dicapai. Hidup begini seperti kosong bagi ku.

Aku perlukan tanggung jawab yang baru. Aku perlukan sesuatu yang lebih mencabar. Yang dapat membangkitkan adrenaline dalam diriku lantas menggerakkan keseluruhan anggota badanku ke tahap maksima.

Ataupun perasaan ini normal bagi seorang remaja yang baru melangkah ke alam dewasa...